| Fictitious Interview |
In this issue we make
up an interview with
the caustic talk radio
star who has become
the leader of the
conservative
movement by
default—
Rush
Limbaugh
up an interview with
the caustic talk radio
star who has become
the leader of the
conservative
movement by
default—
Rush
Limbaugh
The Strange Times: Since the Bush administration left office and a lot of
Republican leaders in Congress are gone, many seem to look to you to be the
voice of conservatism. Even President Obama has mentioned you by name.
Does that put any pressure on you to be more, um, shall we say…diplomatic?
Rush Limbaugh: Absolutely not. I do what I do, and that is to tell my listeners
the truth about the big government, spendocrat liberals.
The Strange Times: Actually, to some it might seem that you bend the truth
wildly, sometimes beyond all recognition.
Rush Limbaugh: Well, there’s the truth, and then there’s the truth. An
intelligent, insightful person can surmise what the real truth is even though he
may not be able to absolutely prove it. For example, I can’t prove beyond a
doubt that the Clintons murdered Vince Foster, but knowing what evil, corrupt
people they are, I can surmise that they did. The lack of evidence is just proof
of a cover-up.
The Strange Times: What about your comment that you hope Obama’s
policies fail? A lot of people took offense at that. If these policies fail, that
would mean disaster for a lot more American citizens and businesses. Is that
really what you hope for?
Rush Limbaugh: Things are going to be bad for at least the next two years,
there’s no way around it, because the bleeding heart liberals have taken over
the white house and congress. But if the economy did start to improve despite
Obama’s meddling and people give him credit for it, that would be disastrous. A
lot of gullible people might start to think that socialism works. Next thing you
know we’ll all be wearing khaki jumpsuits as we line up for mandatory
calisthenics.
The Strange Times: What’s the status of your little feud with Keith Olbermann
of MSNBC? Have you patched things up?
Rush Limbaugh: That little weasel is trying to ride my coattails to fame and
fortune. He’s made a career out of contradicting everything I say, trying to tell
people that I’m wrong when he knows darn well that I’m right. If I went off the air
he’d have nothing to talk about. He’s like a parasite that can only live by
feeding off of me.
The Strange Times: I’ll take that as a no.
Rush Limbaugh: Olbermann can burn in hell. And in fact, he probably will.
The Strange Times: On another topic; do you have a favorite yet that you’d
like to see carrying the Republican standard in 2012?
Rush Limbaugh: I think Sarah Palin would be an excellent choice. She has all
the right conservative credentials. Then our nation’s first female president will
be Republican. She was kind of suddenly thrown into the arena last year, so
she misspoke a couple of times and the liberal media made a big deal out of it.
But that just means that our enemies will underestimate her. We now have
three years to turn her into a mean, lean, liberal-eating machine.
The Strange Times: I know it’s a sore topic, but we have to ask about your
much-publicized drug problem. Isn’t it hypocritical to continue to support the
government’s harsh policies regarding drug offenders?
Rush Limbaugh: That’s ancient history! Besides, I wasn’t using illegal drugs, I
was using prescription drugs illegally. There’s a big difference.
The Strange Times: Point taken. One last question; if you were the president
today, what would you do to stimulate the economy?
Rush Limbaugh: First of all, I’d cut taxes to zero for the wealthiest twenty
percent of Americans. That way they could invest all of their money in the
economy instead of letting the government waste it. Then I’d start another war,
probably against Iran or North Korea. Nothing stimulates the economy like a
nice long war against an inferior enemy. There would be lots of weapons to be
made and our young people would have endless employment opportunities in
the military.
Republican leaders in Congress are gone, many seem to look to you to be the
voice of conservatism. Even President Obama has mentioned you by name.
Does that put any pressure on you to be more, um, shall we say…diplomatic?
Rush Limbaugh: Absolutely not. I do what I do, and that is to tell my listeners
the truth about the big government, spendocrat liberals.
The Strange Times: Actually, to some it might seem that you bend the truth
wildly, sometimes beyond all recognition.
Rush Limbaugh: Well, there’s the truth, and then there’s the truth. An
intelligent, insightful person can surmise what the real truth is even though he
may not be able to absolutely prove it. For example, I can’t prove beyond a
doubt that the Clintons murdered Vince Foster, but knowing what evil, corrupt
people they are, I can surmise that they did. The lack of evidence is just proof
of a cover-up.
The Strange Times: What about your comment that you hope Obama’s
policies fail? A lot of people took offense at that. If these policies fail, that
would mean disaster for a lot more American citizens and businesses. Is that
really what you hope for?
Rush Limbaugh: Things are going to be bad for at least the next two years,
there’s no way around it, because the bleeding heart liberals have taken over
the white house and congress. But if the economy did start to improve despite
Obama’s meddling and people give him credit for it, that would be disastrous. A
lot of gullible people might start to think that socialism works. Next thing you
know we’ll all be wearing khaki jumpsuits as we line up for mandatory
calisthenics.
The Strange Times: What’s the status of your little feud with Keith Olbermann
of MSNBC? Have you patched things up?
Rush Limbaugh: That little weasel is trying to ride my coattails to fame and
fortune. He’s made a career out of contradicting everything I say, trying to tell
people that I’m wrong when he knows darn well that I’m right. If I went off the air
he’d have nothing to talk about. He’s like a parasite that can only live by
feeding off of me.
The Strange Times: I’ll take that as a no.
Rush Limbaugh: Olbermann can burn in hell. And in fact, he probably will.
The Strange Times: On another topic; do you have a favorite yet that you’d
like to see carrying the Republican standard in 2012?
Rush Limbaugh: I think Sarah Palin would be an excellent choice. She has all
the right conservative credentials. Then our nation’s first female president will
be Republican. She was kind of suddenly thrown into the arena last year, so
she misspoke a couple of times and the liberal media made a big deal out of it.
But that just means that our enemies will underestimate her. We now have
three years to turn her into a mean, lean, liberal-eating machine.
The Strange Times: I know it’s a sore topic, but we have to ask about your
much-publicized drug problem. Isn’t it hypocritical to continue to support the
government’s harsh policies regarding drug offenders?
Rush Limbaugh: That’s ancient history! Besides, I wasn’t using illegal drugs, I
was using prescription drugs illegally. There’s a big difference.
The Strange Times: Point taken. One last question; if you were the president
today, what would you do to stimulate the economy?
Rush Limbaugh: First of all, I’d cut taxes to zero for the wealthiest twenty
percent of Americans. That way they could invest all of their money in the
economy instead of letting the government waste it. Then I’d start another war,
probably against Iran or North Korea. Nothing stimulates the economy like a
nice long war against an inferior enemy. There would be lots of weapons to be
made and our young people would have endless employment opportunities in
the military.