| Ask The Strange Advice Lady |
If You're looking for a
little bit of good
advice...go find yourself
a qualified counselor.
Our Strange Advice
Lady has been found
incompetent to stand
trial on two separate
occasions and she
claims to channel the
spirit of Dear Abby (the
twin that ISN"T dead).
little bit of good
advice...go find yourself
a qualified counselor.
Our Strange Advice
Lady has been found
incompetent to stand
trial on two separate
occasions and she
claims to channel the
spirit of Dear Abby (the
twin that ISN"T dead).
Dear Strange Advice Lady:
My husband of ten years is a wonderful man, but for all those years we
have been having the same fight and it’s driving me bonkers. It may
seem trivial to some, but many times we’ve actually started yelling at
each other.
You see, he insists that the salad fork should placed on the inside,
nearest the plate, because you eat your salad first. However, I know
for a fact that proper etiquette says that the salad fork should be
placed on the outside. How should I handle this distressing situation?
Or, if you’ll pardon the pun, what the fork should I do?
Had it up to here
Dear Had it:
Are you forking s##tin’ me? I think you and your husband should both
pull the forks out of your asses. Don’t you have anything worth
fighting about? Maybe the guy screws around or has a gambling
problem? Or steals from your purse to support his heroin habit? Until
you have a real problem, just give me a f##king break! Personally, I
rarely use silverware except for the occasional plastic spork.
Dear Strange Advice Lady:
I am a fairly attractive and, I think, a pretty normal woman. I have a
boyfriend who is handsome, charming and owns a successful
business. The only problem with him is that he has a rather bizarre
foot fetish. I’ve become an expert at toe jobs, but he hardly pays any
attention to me above my ankles. I’m starting to wonder if I should
make a costume that looks like a giant ladies shoe. What do you think
I should do?
Pretty Feet
Dear Pretty Feet:
This is more like it. You’re boyfriend is one freaky dude. Getting
turned on by feet is one thing, but if that’s the only thing that gets him
off he has some serious issues. I say give him the boot. (He’ll
probably enjoy it.)
Dear Strange Advice Lady:
I met my fiancée through a “pen pal” program that connects women
with lonely federal prisoners. He was wrongly convicted of multiple
murders and cannibalism and will spend the rest of his life in jail, but
we’re getting married at the prison next month because they only allow
conjugal visits for married couples.
I’m nervous about the wedding, of course, but I’m even more nervous
about our first “intimate encounter.” What do you think I should wear
for such a visit?
In Love With J40529
Dear In Love:
A1 steak sauce.
My husband of ten years is a wonderful man, but for all those years we
have been having the same fight and it’s driving me bonkers. It may
seem trivial to some, but many times we’ve actually started yelling at
each other.
You see, he insists that the salad fork should placed on the inside,
nearest the plate, because you eat your salad first. However, I know
for a fact that proper etiquette says that the salad fork should be
placed on the outside. How should I handle this distressing situation?
Or, if you’ll pardon the pun, what the fork should I do?
Had it up to here
Dear Had it:
Are you forking s##tin’ me? I think you and your husband should both
pull the forks out of your asses. Don’t you have anything worth
fighting about? Maybe the guy screws around or has a gambling
problem? Or steals from your purse to support his heroin habit? Until
you have a real problem, just give me a f##king break! Personally, I
rarely use silverware except for the occasional plastic spork.
Dear Strange Advice Lady:
I am a fairly attractive and, I think, a pretty normal woman. I have a
boyfriend who is handsome, charming and owns a successful
business. The only problem with him is that he has a rather bizarre
foot fetish. I’ve become an expert at toe jobs, but he hardly pays any
attention to me above my ankles. I’m starting to wonder if I should
make a costume that looks like a giant ladies shoe. What do you think
I should do?
Pretty Feet
Dear Pretty Feet:
This is more like it. You’re boyfriend is one freaky dude. Getting
turned on by feet is one thing, but if that’s the only thing that gets him
off he has some serious issues. I say give him the boot. (He’ll
probably enjoy it.)
Dear Strange Advice Lady:
I met my fiancée through a “pen pal” program that connects women
with lonely federal prisoners. He was wrongly convicted of multiple
murders and cannibalism and will spend the rest of his life in jail, but
we’re getting married at the prison next month because they only allow
conjugal visits for married couples.
I’m nervous about the wedding, of course, but I’m even more nervous
about our first “intimate encounter.” What do you think I should wear
for such a visit?
In Love With J40529
Dear In Love:
A1 steak sauce.
If you'd like to write to The Strange Advice Lady we
beg you to reconsider. All of these letters are made
up and her advice isn't very good, not even
adequate. However, if you insist on writing send your
email to advice@thestrangetimes.com and she
might answer your letter in her column if she's taken
her medication that day.
beg you to reconsider. All of these letters are made
up and her advice isn't very good, not even
adequate. However, if you insist on writing send your
email to advice@thestrangetimes.com and she
might answer your letter in her column if she's taken
her medication that day.
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