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for a little bit of
good advice...go
find yourself a
qualified
counselor. Our
Strange Advice
Lady has been
found incompetent
to stand trial on
two separate
occasions and she
claims to channel
the spirit of Dear
Abby (the twin that
ISN"T dead).
I recently got married to a man from the Benna tribe from Africa . He’s a
really good man but we seem to be butting heads lately. He seems to
think I should run around in a loin cloth with no top, yelling la la la la la
woo hoo because it would remind him of home
and he is home sick. Now my problem is, he says that because I am his
wife I must do this even when we have company.
Now, I love to role play, but this is ridiculous. He says I am disrespecting
him and his culture, because the wife should do as he says. How would I
look running around in a loin cloth and topless, before I know it he will be
hanging rope from the ceiling and wanting me to swing from it. How do I
tell him that it is ok to role play (even though it is not role playing to him),
but it is best to do that when there is no company. He also says that if I
don’t start doing what makes him happiest, we will have to move to
Africa, where he will be happy. HELP!!!
CULTURE CLASH
DEAR CULTURE CLASH;
First of all, he needs to realize that this is America and public nudity is
only acceptable in certain place, like nude beaches and stripper bars.
What you’re willing to do in the privacy of your home to humor him is
your business, but you shouldn’t do anything your not comfortable with.
Another thing about America is that you can’t make anybody do
something they don’t want to do unless you’re the government.
DEAR STRANGE ADVICE LADY;
I have a terrible problem and I need your advice right away. My young
daughter is away visiting her grandparents and her beloved pet frog,
Jumpy, has passed away. I’m just not sure how I should deal with this.
Should I try to replace the frog so she won’t have to experience such a
loss at such a young age? Or should I try to use the passing of the frog
as a lesson to teach her something about life and death? I’m just not
sure how I should handle this.
THE GRIM REAPER
DEAR GRIM REAPER;
Don’t be ridiculous, nobody loves a frog. A pet is something that you
can PET! In the first place a frog is only a little more alive than a fish,
which isn’t saying much. However, frog’s legs really are quite delicious if
prepared properly. I suggest you serve them to your daughter and
teach her a lesson about how we get our food from animals.
beg you to reconsider. All of these letters are made
up and her advice isn't very good, not even
adequate. However, if you insist on writing send your
email to advice@thestrangetimes.com and she
might answer your letter in her column if she's taken
her medication that day.
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