This Month's List of
Ten Bad Commercials
Ten Bad Commercials
Do you have any idea how much time you waste each year
watching, listening to and looking at advertisements?
Well, neither do we, but we bet it's a lot. And 99% of these
advertisements are insulting, ridiculous, or just plain silly.
Somebody has to take them to task for subjecting us to so
much crap, and we think we're up to the task.
watching, listening to and looking at advertisements?
Well, neither do we, but we bet it's a lot. And 99% of these
advertisements are insulting, ridiculous, or just plain silly.
Somebody has to take them to task for subjecting us to so
much crap, and we think we're up to the task.
#1. Taco Bell. They have a long track record of awful commercials, but the
series that has people saying "I'm full" as if it were some amazing revelation has
us thinking that whoever is responsible should be set afloat on an ice floe.
series that has people saying "I'm full" as if it were some amazing revelation has
us thinking that whoever is responsible should be set afloat on an ice floe.
#2. Taco John's. To be fair we had to include the other big taco joint, although
their "Whiplash" series is so stupid it's almost cute. But do we really want to eat
food that's been handled by a rabid-looking monkey?
their "Whiplash" series is so stupid it's almost cute. But do we really want to eat
food that's been handled by a rabid-looking monkey?
#3. Burger King. It might seem like we're picking on the fast food joints, but
they're well-deserving. They must think that their creepy-looking King guy will
become as beloved as Ronald McDonald, but if we woke up to find that thing
standing outside the window, we're not taking food from it, we're calling 911.
they're well-deserving. They must think that their creepy-looking King guy will
become as beloved as Ronald McDonald, but if we woke up to find that thing
standing outside the window, we're not taking food from it, we're calling 911.
#4. Burger King. They get another mention for those commercials with the
weird cult-leader type of guy touting a new fad diet that revolves around eating
their overpriced Angus burgers. Apparently he's claiming that they'll give you a
really fat ass to sit comfortably on.
weird cult-leader type of guy touting a new fad diet that revolves around eating
their overpriced Angus burgers. Apparently he's claiming that they'll give you a
really fat ass to sit comfortably on.
#5. Old Navy. All of their commercials are insipid and obnoxiously cutsie-pie.
Everybody involved should be ashamed and the celebrities that appear in them
should be doubly ashamed. That means you especially, Morgan.
Everybody involved should be ashamed and the celebrities that appear in them
should be doubly ashamed. That means you especially, Morgan.
#6. Pepto Bismal. Their little Macarena-type song where they list all of the
digestive ailments that their product can help you with...makes us feel a little,
uhm, sick to our stomachs. Pass the Pepto, will ya?
digestive ailments that their product can help you with...makes us feel a little,
uhm, sick to our stomachs. Pass the Pepto, will ya?
#7. SUVs. We can't remember which company made these commercials
(which shows just how effective they were) and we haven't seen them for
awhile, but we had to mention the series that shows people riding these gigantic
prehistoric buffalo-like beasts. The message seemed to be, "Our SUVs are
monstrous machines, so if you have a rollover accident it's because you can't
handle it, wussy."
(which shows just how effective they were) and we haven't seen them for
awhile, but we had to mention the series that shows people riding these gigantic
prehistoric buffalo-like beasts. The message seemed to be, "Our SUVs are
monstrous machines, so if you have a rollover accident it's because you can't
handle it, wussy."
#8. Buffalo Wild Wings. They have that moronic commercial where the
customer asks the waitress about the mosaic effect that's obscuring the naked
chicken tenders and she explains, "Well, they are naked." As if we're supposed
to believe that these people can actually see the effect and it wasn't added in
during the editing process.
customer asks the waitress about the mosaic effect that's obscuring the naked
chicken tenders and she explains, "Well, they are naked." As if we're supposed
to believe that these people can actually see the effect and it wasn't added in
during the editing process.
#9. Suzuki. We're talking about the one for their SUV that shows the guy in
the business suit kiss his wife good-by, walk out the door and then parachute
off a cliff down to his waiting SUV on the rocks below. What we want to know
is; how does he get back up there in the evenings?
the business suit kiss his wife good-by, walk out the door and then parachute
off a cliff down to his waiting SUV on the rocks below. What we want to know
is; how does he get back up there in the evenings?
#10. Hummer. They have that Japanese monster movie commercial where
the giant robot and the godzilla-like creature are both crashing through a city
when they meet up and fall in love. As godzilla turns up pregnant you're
scratching your head, wondering what the hell this stupid commercial is
advertising. Then godzilla places her baby on the ground and the little
Hummer drives away. It made us laugh, but we were laughing at it, not with it.
the giant robot and the godzilla-like creature are both crashing through a city
when they meet up and fall in love. As godzilla turns up pregnant you're
scratching your head, wondering what the hell this stupid commercial is
advertising. Then godzilla places her baby on the ground and the little
Hummer drives away. It made us laugh, but we were laughing at it, not with it.
| PEACE FORCE A science fiction novel by J.W. Lengel the creator and contributing editor of The Strange Times |
Available now from your favorite
bookseller or at the
PublishAmerica.com online bookstore.
Publish America, Science Fiction,
ISBN: 1-4241-1220-6
For more information about the book
or author visit jwlengel.com
bookseller or at the
PublishAmerica.com online bookstore.
Publish America, Science Fiction,
ISBN: 1-4241-1220-6
For more information about the book
or author visit jwlengel.com
Its the year 2051 and Turner Andrews
is a covert operations officer in the
World Peace Force, a loyal soldier for
the world government. Until he
is a covert operations officer in the
World Peace Force, a loyal soldier for
the world government. Until he
discovers corruption at the top of his chain of command and decides he
must expose the leaders that he's sworn to obey...or die trying.
must expose the leaders that he's sworn to obey...or die trying.
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