| This Month's Fictitious Interview |
This month we ask
the tough questions
and make up the
answers for our new
Secretary of Defense,
Robert Gates.
the tough questions
and make up the
answers for our new
Secretary of Defense,
Robert Gates.
The Strange Times: How does it feel to be the new Secretary of
Defense? Kind of like you’ve been given command of a sinking ship?
Robert Gates: Not at all. We have the strongest military in the world and
we’re not about to let a bunch of rabble-rousers in bathrobes get the best
of us.
The Strange Times: So what is this new plan for victory in Iraq?
Robert Gates: That isn’t completely finalized yet We are working very
hard on it and soon we will announce our plans. And it will be great.
The Strange Times: You were a member of the bi-partisan Iraq
Commission that recently released a report that was highly critical of the
way the war in Iraq has been handled.
Robert Gates: Sure, some things should have been done differently.
Like using a larger initial force to subdue the country. They might have
listened to some rosy predictions of what would happen after the invasion.
But hindsight is 20/20. The question now is how to move forward.
The Strange Times: Speaking of hindsight: You were the CIA Director
during the first Persian Gulf War. Why wasn’t Saddam finished off then?
Robert Gates: The prevailing feeling in the first Bush’s administration, or
at least the feeling that won out, was that taking Saddam out would likely
result in another oil-rich, terrorist-sponsoring state like Iran.
The Strange Times: Kind of prophetic, don’t you think?
Robert Gates: Not that there weren’t those in the administration who didn’
t disagree with that decision. Some of those people are now running things
in the current Bush’s White House.
The Strange Times: Which side of the fence were you on?
Robert Gates: I supported the president’s decision at the time. Now I
support this president’s decision.
The Strange Times: Very diplomatic. Some cynics might even say wishy-
washy. Some cynics also say that in the ‘80s your CIA was oblivious to the
impending collapse of the Soviet Union and exaggerated their military
strength in order to justify Ronald Reagan’s military buildup.
Robert Gates: Hey, that Soviet thing caught everybody by surprise. It’s
like, the whole country was all about keeping secrets, so they were very
good at it.
The Strange Times: You’ve also been connected to the Iran-Contra
scandal. If you weren’t directly involved, you certainly worked closely with
the people who were and knew what they were up to. And I believe you
were known to be a big supporter of the Contra rebels in Nicaragua,
correct?
Robert Gates: And today the Sandinistas are gone and Nicaragua isn’t
communist. And a commission decided that there was no evidence I did
anything I could be indicted for. Case closed.
The Strange Times: But is it safe to say that throughout your career in
the CIA you pretty much used your office to advance the current president’
s agenda?
Robert Gates: Well, I was a presidential appointee, so he was basically
my boss. So sure--I worked for the president and he set the agenda.
The Strange Times: Do you think that factored into your current
appointment? That maybe they saw you as the member of the Iraq
Commission that was most likely to agree with whatever conclusions the
Bush administration finally reached?
Robert Gates: No, I think I was chosen because they saw me as capable
and well-qualified. It just so happens that I do agree with whatever
conclusions they will ultimately reach.
The Strange Times: You turned down an earlier offer from this
administration for an appointment as the Director of National Intelligence.
Was it the timing or is Secretary of Defense just a more desirable position?
Robert Gates: A little of both, I guess. I hadn’t been president of Texas
A&M for very long and I liked that position. Besides, “Intelligence Czar” was
just some made-up job they created after 9/11. Trying to coordinate all the
different groups that gather intelligence sounded like a daunting and
thankless task.
The Strange Times: For the last question we’ll throw you a softball. What
would you like to say to all of your troops in the field?
Robert Gates: I know that it’s been a long, hard road, but your sacrifices
will not be in vain. The American people thank you, and when we’re
through with them the Iraqi people will thank you too.
Defense? Kind of like you’ve been given command of a sinking ship?
Robert Gates: Not at all. We have the strongest military in the world and
we’re not about to let a bunch of rabble-rousers in bathrobes get the best
of us.
The Strange Times: So what is this new plan for victory in Iraq?
Robert Gates: That isn’t completely finalized yet We are working very
hard on it and soon we will announce our plans. And it will be great.
The Strange Times: You were a member of the bi-partisan Iraq
Commission that recently released a report that was highly critical of the
way the war in Iraq has been handled.
Robert Gates: Sure, some things should have been done differently.
Like using a larger initial force to subdue the country. They might have
listened to some rosy predictions of what would happen after the invasion.
But hindsight is 20/20. The question now is how to move forward.
The Strange Times: Speaking of hindsight: You were the CIA Director
during the first Persian Gulf War. Why wasn’t Saddam finished off then?
Robert Gates: The prevailing feeling in the first Bush’s administration, or
at least the feeling that won out, was that taking Saddam out would likely
result in another oil-rich, terrorist-sponsoring state like Iran.
The Strange Times: Kind of prophetic, don’t you think?
Robert Gates: Not that there weren’t those in the administration who didn’
t disagree with that decision. Some of those people are now running things
in the current Bush’s White House.
The Strange Times: Which side of the fence were you on?
Robert Gates: I supported the president’s decision at the time. Now I
support this president’s decision.
The Strange Times: Very diplomatic. Some cynics might even say wishy-
washy. Some cynics also say that in the ‘80s your CIA was oblivious to the
impending collapse of the Soviet Union and exaggerated their military
strength in order to justify Ronald Reagan’s military buildup.
Robert Gates: Hey, that Soviet thing caught everybody by surprise. It’s
like, the whole country was all about keeping secrets, so they were very
good at it.
The Strange Times: You’ve also been connected to the Iran-Contra
scandal. If you weren’t directly involved, you certainly worked closely with
the people who were and knew what they were up to. And I believe you
were known to be a big supporter of the Contra rebels in Nicaragua,
correct?
Robert Gates: And today the Sandinistas are gone and Nicaragua isn’t
communist. And a commission decided that there was no evidence I did
anything I could be indicted for. Case closed.
The Strange Times: But is it safe to say that throughout your career in
the CIA you pretty much used your office to advance the current president’
s agenda?
Robert Gates: Well, I was a presidential appointee, so he was basically
my boss. So sure--I worked for the president and he set the agenda.
The Strange Times: Do you think that factored into your current
appointment? That maybe they saw you as the member of the Iraq
Commission that was most likely to agree with whatever conclusions the
Bush administration finally reached?
Robert Gates: No, I think I was chosen because they saw me as capable
and well-qualified. It just so happens that I do agree with whatever
conclusions they will ultimately reach.
The Strange Times: You turned down an earlier offer from this
administration for an appointment as the Director of National Intelligence.
Was it the timing or is Secretary of Defense just a more desirable position?
Robert Gates: A little of both, I guess. I hadn’t been president of Texas
A&M for very long and I liked that position. Besides, “Intelligence Czar” was
just some made-up job they created after 9/11. Trying to coordinate all the
different groups that gather intelligence sounded like a daunting and
thankless task.
The Strange Times: For the last question we’ll throw you a softball. What
would you like to say to all of your troops in the field?
Robert Gates: I know that it’s been a long, hard road, but your sacrifices
will not be in vain. The American people thank you, and when we’re
through with them the Iraqi people will thank you too.
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