| This Month's List of Ten |
Christmas is approaching and
that got us to wondering--what
do the rich and famous wish
for? Let’s face it, if they want it
they probably already have it.
So we did a little investigating
and came up with this
that got us to wondering--what
do the rich and famous wish
for? Let’s face it, if they want it
they probably already have it.
So we did a little investigating
and came up with this
List of Ten Celebrity Christmas Wishes
1. George W. Bush (President of the United States): I wish for
peace on earth--after all of our enemies have surrendered.
And an iphone. Those thingies look pretty cool.
2. Paris Hilton (celebutante): I wish I could have gotten
famous without making that damn porno flick. It makes it hard
to be taken seriously as an actoress.
3. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran): Since I am a
devout Muslim it is extremely offensive to assume I celebrate
your infidel holiday--but if I had to pick… I would wish for an
intercontinental ballistic missile with multiple nuclear
warheads. That would be a great Christmas.
4. Mel Gibson (Actor and anti-Semite): I just wish that all of my
many good Jewish friends would have a very merry Christmas.
What? They don’t? What are they--heathens?
5. Jessica Simpson (Pop singer and Actress): I wish
Hollywood would come up with more parts for the vacuous, big-
chested bimbo type.
6. Hillary Clinton (Senator and Presidential hopeful): My
Christmas wish is that Barack Obama and John Edwards are
caught having an affair…with each other.
7. Dick Cheney (Vice President of the United States and Lord
of the Dark Realm): I wish the Supreme Court would stop
being so obstructionist and let the federal government do it’s
job. How are we supposed to protect Americans from
terrorists if we can’t even torture our enemies? It just can’t
be done.
8. Donald Trump (Real Estate Developer and Reality TV Host):
I wish that people would stop yelling “You’re fired!” at me all of
the time. I trademarked that phrase and I’m going to start
suing their asses.
9. Bill Gates (Founder and CEO of Microsoft): I wish that every
person on earth had a personal computer that’s operated by
our new Vista system. Then my secret plot for world
domination will come to fruition.
10. Britney Spears (Pop Tart): I wish I could spend Christmas
with my children instead of partying in Vegas, but I’ve already
made the reservations
peace on earth--after all of our enemies have surrendered.
And an iphone. Those thingies look pretty cool.
2. Paris Hilton (celebutante): I wish I could have gotten
famous without making that damn porno flick. It makes it hard
to be taken seriously as an actoress.
3. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran): Since I am a
devout Muslim it is extremely offensive to assume I celebrate
your infidel holiday--but if I had to pick… I would wish for an
intercontinental ballistic missile with multiple nuclear
warheads. That would be a great Christmas.
4. Mel Gibson (Actor and anti-Semite): I just wish that all of my
many good Jewish friends would have a very merry Christmas.
What? They don’t? What are they--heathens?
5. Jessica Simpson (Pop singer and Actress): I wish
Hollywood would come up with more parts for the vacuous, big-
chested bimbo type.
6. Hillary Clinton (Senator and Presidential hopeful): My
Christmas wish is that Barack Obama and John Edwards are
caught having an affair…with each other.
7. Dick Cheney (Vice President of the United States and Lord
of the Dark Realm): I wish the Supreme Court would stop
being so obstructionist and let the federal government do it’s
job. How are we supposed to protect Americans from
terrorists if we can’t even torture our enemies? It just can’t
be done.
8. Donald Trump (Real Estate Developer and Reality TV Host):
I wish that people would stop yelling “You’re fired!” at me all of
the time. I trademarked that phrase and I’m going to start
suing their asses.
9. Bill Gates (Founder and CEO of Microsoft): I wish that every
person on earth had a personal computer that’s operated by
our new Vista system. Then my secret plot for world
domination will come to fruition.
10. Britney Spears (Pop Tart): I wish I could spend Christmas
with my children instead of partying in Vegas, but I’ve already
made the reservations
