| This Month's Fictitious Interview |
Fred Thompson
This month's victim
is the most famous
of the long-shots in
the presidential
race, a former
senator and an actor
in movies and
television.
This month's victim
is the most famous
of the long-shots in
the presidential
race, a former
senator and an actor
in movies and
television.
THE STRANGE TIMES: You joined the race kind of late. Why did you
decide to run for president in 2008?
FRED THOMPSON: Because all the Republicans in the race were a
bunch of dumb jackaninnies. Most of them already tried to run against
Bush and got their hats handed to them. I thought we needed a
common-sense conservative in the race and I’m just the southern boy
for the job.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Your only previous political office is the eight
years you represented Tennessee in the U.S. Senate, ending in 2002.
Is that enough experience?
FRED THOMPSON: More than enough. It’s more than either of the top
two democratic contenders have under their belts. Presidential politics
doesn’t seem to favor lifelong politicians anymore. Folks want some
fresh eggs in the henhouse.
THE STRANGE TIMES: You were a part of Scooter Libby’s defense
team. So you were obviously happy to see President Bush commute his
sentence?
FRED THOMPSON: Scooter is a good man and he got a raw deal at
trial. So somebody leaked the identity of a secret CIA operative
because her husband was a liberal pinko traitor--that’s a crime? If
anybody should be thrown in jail it’s the reporters that made the
information public. The world would be a better place if we threw all the
reporters in jail.
THE STRANGE TIMES: But not the lawyers?
FRED THOMPSON: Defense lawyers. And any lawyer that advertises
on TV.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Speaking of lawyers on TV, do you miss the
Law and Order gig?
FRED THOMPSON: That was a great job, and it’ll look good on my
resume. But so would winning the Republican nomination for president.
Anyway, my scenes were generally short and not very frequent, so it
didn’t really keep me that busy. This campaign is more of a full-time job.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Really? You’ve been accused of making few
appearances and sometimes canceling the ones you have scheduled.
FRED THOMPSON: I said full time, not overtime.
THE STRANGE TIMES: During the build-up to the current war in Iraq
you were in a commercial supporting the case for the war. Isn’t that kind
of unusual--a commercial to build support for going to war?
FRED THOMSON: These days if you want to reach the American public
you’ve got to do it on television and you’ve got to do it over and over.
And you’ve got to deliver your message in sixty seconds or less.
THE STRANGE TIMES: So you still fully support the president’s policies
in Iraq?
FRED THOMPSON: The invasion of Iraq was the right the thing to do.
They just underestimated the resolve of our enemies there. The was is
still winnable, we just have to keep turning the pressure up.
THE STRANGE TIMES: And when would you consider the war to be
won?
FRED THOMPSON: When Iraq is a stable, democratic ally.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Do you think that will happen in our lifetime?
FRED THOMPSON: Maybe, I don’t know…how old are you?
THE STRANGE TIMES: Never mind. One last question--if you were
elected president what would be your first priority?
FRED THOMPSON: Same as any good conservative--cut taxes for the
rich and increase spending for the military.
decide to run for president in 2008?
FRED THOMPSON: Because all the Republicans in the race were a
bunch of dumb jackaninnies. Most of them already tried to run against
Bush and got their hats handed to them. I thought we needed a
common-sense conservative in the race and I’m just the southern boy
for the job.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Your only previous political office is the eight
years you represented Tennessee in the U.S. Senate, ending in 2002.
Is that enough experience?
FRED THOMPSON: More than enough. It’s more than either of the top
two democratic contenders have under their belts. Presidential politics
doesn’t seem to favor lifelong politicians anymore. Folks want some
fresh eggs in the henhouse.
THE STRANGE TIMES: You were a part of Scooter Libby’s defense
team. So you were obviously happy to see President Bush commute his
sentence?
FRED THOMPSON: Scooter is a good man and he got a raw deal at
trial. So somebody leaked the identity of a secret CIA operative
because her husband was a liberal pinko traitor--that’s a crime? If
anybody should be thrown in jail it’s the reporters that made the
information public. The world would be a better place if we threw all the
reporters in jail.
THE STRANGE TIMES: But not the lawyers?
FRED THOMPSON: Defense lawyers. And any lawyer that advertises
on TV.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Speaking of lawyers on TV, do you miss the
Law and Order gig?
FRED THOMPSON: That was a great job, and it’ll look good on my
resume. But so would winning the Republican nomination for president.
Anyway, my scenes were generally short and not very frequent, so it
didn’t really keep me that busy. This campaign is more of a full-time job.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Really? You’ve been accused of making few
appearances and sometimes canceling the ones you have scheduled.
FRED THOMPSON: I said full time, not overtime.
THE STRANGE TIMES: During the build-up to the current war in Iraq
you were in a commercial supporting the case for the war. Isn’t that kind
of unusual--a commercial to build support for going to war?
FRED THOMSON: These days if you want to reach the American public
you’ve got to do it on television and you’ve got to do it over and over.
And you’ve got to deliver your message in sixty seconds or less.
THE STRANGE TIMES: So you still fully support the president’s policies
in Iraq?
FRED THOMPSON: The invasion of Iraq was the right the thing to do.
They just underestimated the resolve of our enemies there. The was is
still winnable, we just have to keep turning the pressure up.
THE STRANGE TIMES: And when would you consider the war to be
won?
FRED THOMPSON: When Iraq is a stable, democratic ally.
THE STRANGE TIMES: Do you think that will happen in our lifetime?
FRED THOMPSON: Maybe, I don’t know…how old are you?
THE STRANGE TIMES: Never mind. One last question--if you were
elected president what would be your first priority?
FRED THOMPSON: Same as any good conservative--cut taxes for the
rich and increase spending for the military.
