Page
Fictitious Interview
This month’s
fictional interview
is with the man
who is arguably
the best bet to be
the Democratic
nominee for
president in 2008.
Barack Obama: That’s true.
The Strange Times: Do you think this country is ready to elect a black
president?
Barack Obama: Absolutely. There’s still a lot of prejudice in this country,
but a lot of white people feel guilty about their prejudices. They’ll vote for
me to prove they’re not prejudiced. Besides, it looks like my main
competition is a woman, so it’s a wash. If a Democrat gets elected
president, it’s going to be either the first black man or first woman. And I’
m not as shrill as Hillary.
The Strange Times: Then again, some African-American leaders claim
you’re not really an African-American because you’re not descended from
American slaves.
Barack Obama: I know, ain’t that some bulls##t? I catch all the flak from
the folks that only want a white man to be president, but I’m not black
enough for the black folks?
The Strange Times: Then there are those who think you’re too
inexperienced to be president. You’ve only been in the Senate for two
years, and before that eight years in the Illinois legislature.
Barack Obama: When Bush ran for president he had been a governor
for eight years and before that he was part-owner of a baseball team.
Experience isn’t an issue. That’s part of the problem in Washington, we’
ve had the same people batting around the same ideas for too long. We
need some fresh thinking.
The Strange Times: Like Bush has given us?
Barack Obama: No, that’s non-thinking.
The Strange Times: Let’s say you’re elected president in ‘08. What’s
you’re first priority?
Barack Obama: That’s a no-brainer. Bring our troops home from Iraq as
quickly as possible.
The Strange Times: Assuming that they’re still there.
Barack Obama: I’m afraid that this administration is never going to pull
them out. That would be like admitting that they royally screwed the
pooch.
The Strange Times: I’ll say this for you, unlike some of your Democratic
competition, you’ve always been consistent in your opinion about the war.
You gave a speech in the fall of 2002 at an anti-war demonstration in
Chicago where you said, “I am not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to
dumb wars.” Do you feel superior to your Democratic colleagues in the
Senate who voted to authorize the war?
Barack Obama: Absolutely. It should have been obvious to anybody
that the war was a dumb idea, but they let the Bush regime bully them into
submission. And most of them didn’t even admit it was dumb until they
could no longer deny it and the tide of public opinion started to turn
against it. What’s the point of having a two party system if the minority
party is afraid to stand up for what’s right if it isn’t politically expedient?
The Strange Times: In your memoir Dreams of My Father you write
about drinking heavily, using marijuana and even cocaine during your
teenage years. Did you inhale?
Barack Obama: Many times. Luckily, Clinton kind of broke through the
stigma of such youthful indiscretions. Bush had some DUIs and some
allegations of cocaine use. I think if you’re honest with the American
people about your past, something like that isn’t a deal-breaker.
The Strange Times: Back in January you said, “I am absolutely
determined that by the end of the first term of the next president, we
should have universal health care in this country.” Do you believe that’s a
possible goal?
Barack Obama: If I’m the next president and our party is still in control of
Congress--maybe. I’ll damn sure try, but hey, I’m just one guy. Let’s be
realistic.
The Strange Times: Last question. What is your agenda as a senator
for the next two years?
Barack Obama: Well, we know we’re not going to get any meaningful
legislation past Bush and we don’t have the votes to override his veto, so
we’ll probably concentrate on using Congress’ investigative powers to dig
up scandals that will embarrass the Republicans and help us get a clean
sweep in 2008.
Page